I’ve never actually tried Chili Con Carne in my life. The only memory I have of it is a Flash game called Boowa and Kwala that I used to play when I was a young friendless moron, where you’d play as a Koala and serve Chili Con Carne up to people. I was an absolute loser when I was younger. May still be. Anyway, I came across Boowa and Kwala a few days ago and that is what inspired me to make this Vegan Chili Con Carne. Loser.
To be honest, this Vegan Chili Con Carne was a breeze to make. Everything is made in one pot (and a blender for the Cashew Sour Cream, but feel free to grind cashews for hours by hand because grinding is such a great thing especially when you’re blind drunk and in a club). I’ve used Vegan “Meat” Crumbles in this recipe for a heartier texture, along with a mixture of Beans, Veggies, Tomato Paste, Tinned Tomatoes, Mexican Chili Spice Mix and a little Dark Chocolate. The cashew sour cream I top this with is the same one I use in my One Pan Mexican Quinoa.
The result is a relatively mild Chili Con Carne, one that will not make your a$$hole cry the next morning. You know what I’m talking about 🙂 But hey, if you’re into that kind of stuff feel free to go WILD and add a bucket of Chilli Powder to this, and KABOOM! Die with a bang, I always say.
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Topped with Cashew Sour Cream, Avocado, Cilantro and Green Onion, this Vegan Chili is pretty hearty in itself and doesn’t need to be served with anything else, but feel free to dip bread or whatever the fk you want into it. I reckon it’ll go well with a side of rice too, but hey, what do I know. So scroll down for my Vegan Chili Con Carne recipe, my fellow cretins.

Vegan Chili Con Carne
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 tablespoons Olive Oil
- 1 large White Onion diced
- 1 large Carrot diced
- 1 large Red Bell Pepper diced
- 1 large Celery stalk, diced
- 1 cup Vegan Meat Crumbles Gardein Beefless Crumbs or whatever
- 2 tablespoons Tomato Paste
- 1 14 oz Crushed Tomatoes
- 1/2 cup Vegetable Broth
- 1 oz Mexican Chili Spice Mix
- 1 teaspoon Ground Cumin
- 1 tablespoon Sugar
- 1 tin Mixed Beans drained
- 1/2 oz Dark chocolate
- 1 teaspoon Salt to taste
To serve:
- 1/4 cup Cashew Sour Cream
- 1 large Green Onion Chopped
- 1 bunch Cilantro Chopped
- 1 large Avocado
Instructions
- In a large pot, heat Olive Oil up and saute the Onion, Carrot, Red Bell Pepper and Celery till onion has turned soft and translucent, and other veggies have sweated down a bit, about 5-7 minutes.
- Add Vegan Meat Crumbles to pot and cook, stirring, for another 5 minutes.
- Add Tomato Paste to pot, stir well and then add in your tin of Crushed Tomatoes and Vegetable Broth to the pot.
- Bring to a simmer and add in Chili Spice Mix, Cumin, Sugar, drained can of Beans and Dark Chocolate.
- Bring back to a simmer, cover with a lid and let cook for 30-35 minutes or until all the vegetables are tender and Chili has thickened.
- Taste and season according to preference.
- Serve with Cashew Sour Cream, Cilantro, Chopped Green Onion and Avocado Slices.
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